ThirdVoice

Podcast: Enhance Your Relationship with Your Teenager

By Jeffrey | Published June 7th, 2016

An hour long interview I did for Solo Nation, a website for single parents. The topic is universal about the transitions that go on during the teen years. I hope you find value in it. Click on the image below: http://soloparentmag.com/jeff-leiken

Another Category: Two Types Of Parents

By Jeffrey | Published September 21st, 2017

In my practice, I receive inquiries from two types of parents: Those who it pains and saddens to watch their kids struggling vs Those who are just frustrated and annoyed with them for not just making better decisions. The First Type: Don’t get me wrong, those in the first group certainly have their share of frustrations with their [...]

Own Your Cool ™

By Jeffrey | Published August 19th, 2017

Own Your Cool  ™ Dedicated to all those people who have dumbed themselves down, sold themselves short, gotten discouraged and/or given up on dreams because of shitty things that happened to them when they were younger or because of some belief that is only a certain type of person who succeeds in life or some other [...]

KGO Radio Interview Adolescence Not A Disease

By Jeffrey | Published March 19th, 2017

Many people seeking advice on their future career or college admissions seek a career counselor or life coach to help them to make a sound decision. In my practice in Mill Valley I am not a psychotherapist, but I see many teens and young adults having issues with promiscuity, alcohol or drugs. But these behaviors [...]

The Overwhelming Cost Of Overwhelming Teens

By Jeffrey | Published February 25th, 2017

95% of the teens and young adults in our world who are struggling, are not mentally ill and don’t need psychological treatment  even though they are receiving it in record numbers.  That’s not to say they don’t need help, because they do. I start from the belief that there is NOTHING WRONG WITH THEM, but there [...]

Looking To Play Chess In A Candyland Culture

By Jeffrey | Published February 14th, 2017

I received a call  today from a college student client who was concerned about something going on in his relationship with his girlfriend. In short, she came to him last week wanting to have an “open relationship” – meaning one where they can be free to have sex with others, while still being boyfriend girlfriend. Only the [...]

The Root Of Insecurity & The Pathway To Autonomy

By Jeffrey | Published February 4th, 2017

Insecurity is directly linked to three things: How dependent a person is upon the approval and opinions of others for their sense of self-worth. The more they depend on affirmation from others, the more insecure they will be.  How much they trust their ability to safely and effectively manage what will come up in their lives. [...]

The Dangerous Price Of College Admissions KGO Radio Interview

By Jeffrey | Published July 12th, 2016

Are we guilty of putting too much pressure on our kids with getting them into the “right” college? There are enough competing demands on them as it is, with them trying to fit into different social groups, their existing grades and hobbies, relationship conflicts outside and within the home and finding time for all of [...]

What The MarInfamous Teen Party Bus Says About Us

By Jeffrey | Published July 3rd, 2016

This is an opinion piece I wrote for the local newspaper where I live in Marin County, California. Unfortunately it did not get printed. Instead they ran another article commenting on how we need laws that come down harder on parents who host parties for teens. The week before they ran an opinion piece written [...]

Credentials. . . A Master Teacher. . . Beyond Words

By Jeffrey | Published November 22nd, 2015

Occasionally I am asked what my credentials are. Sometimes this is asked by a parent who is considering hiring me to work with their son or daughter, often times though it is asked by someone who “wants to be able to do” what I do.  In either case, the answer is both relevant and irrelevant. [...]

Rational Parenting – Introducing a Radicle New Concept

By Jeffrey | Published June 10th, 2015

In the past decade many of the most popular Best Selling books about parenting and raising healthy children, have proffered profoundly important and deep messages. Using a mix of research and empirical observation, illustrated with countless anecdotal case studies, they have taught us repeatedly these breakthrough revelations: • Spoiling kids is bad for them. • Too [...]

A Different Kind Of Christmas Story

By Jeffrey | Published December 24th, 2014

A Different Kind Of Christmas Story As a Chanukah-Man, my memories of Christmas growing up in the Midwest in the 70s and 80s are few and far between. It was always somebody else’s Holiday. But there was one distinct memory that stands out and has stayed with me for 30 years now and comes back [...]

The 20/80 Rule: A College Freshman Finding His People

By Jeffrey | Published November 11th, 2014

Jerrod struggled to find good friends in high school, and had high hopes that college would be different.  He’d attended a small private high school where he often felt like the only kid who wasn’t uber-smart, socially savvy and into drinking, smoking and hooking-up. He was not only a “late bloomer” socially, he was also quite conservative [...]

From Teen To Young Adult: Three Questions, Three Stages

By Jeffrey | Published November 2nd, 2014

Stage 1:  Begins around 12- 13 years old.  “I am not a little kid anymore. I’m a teen. Treat me like one.” The driving question: Where and how do I fit in with my peers? At this stage, emerging and young teens do not want to be seen as little kids anymore. They want to be [...]

Mark Became A Typical Marin Teen – Now The Adventure Begins

By Jeffrey | Published March 25th, 2014

I had dinner  with 18 year old Mark last night. I gave him a challenge at the end of the meal that caught  him off guard. I’ve waited a long, long time to be able to say these words to him.   First some background: When I met Mark he was 15. He was bright, [...]

How Some Children’s Hair Salons Cut Hair & Cut Attention Spans

By Jeffrey | Published March 13th, 2014

The conditioning to only be able to focus and pay attention to something or someone who is exciting and stimulating, begins young these days. Fortunately there is a pathway out  - > I explain this at the end of this entree! I took my 7 year old to the local children’s hair salon last week. [...]

I Insulted A Popular, Pretty Sorority Girl And Two Weeks Later Got This Most Surprising Text

By Jeffrey | Published February 18th, 2014

This is a story about how an insult I gave a Sorority girl and challenge I offered over a sushi lunch a month ago, led to launching her into her adult life. It should speak to any parent who has a teen who is loaded with potential but is getting caught up in wasting time [...]

So Many Teens Struggle At Age 16 – Is This Why?

By Jeffrey | Published October 12th, 2013

Most Teens Struggle Through This Life Stage – But Why? And What Can Help? For years I’ve been claiming that one day I am going to write a book called “16 ”  Here’s Why: Phone calls from parents of teens about 16 years old are the most common calls I get: (It is not always [...]

Assessing Character

By Jeffrey | Published January 19th, 2013

This posting was inspired after watching Lance Armstrong’s interview with Oprah. As a blanket policy, I do not make my assessments about how I feel about a person  -  their trustworthiness, etc,   – by the worst moment of his or her life, the worst decision they ever made or the worst mistake they’ve made. [...]

Dystopia & Gun Control – The Critical Question Not Being Asked

By Jeffrey | Published January 6th, 2013

I fully support an all out ban on civilian ownership of handguns and military style assault weapons… beginning with the immediate ban on sales of all amunition needed to use these weapons. I support it in spite of the statistics anyone can point to the contrary. Here’s why: Like many of you I read arguments [...]

Are French Parents Really Superior? Depends What You Value

By Jeffrey | Published February 7th, 2012

I was asked by several folks to respond to the recent article about an upcoming book that claims French parents are superior to Americans. At the bottom of this is a link to the article, and here is my response: I haven’t read of any studies recently about French youth growing into world leaders at [...]

Composure Under Pressure

By Jeffrey | Published October 10th, 2011

How I teach Composure Under Pressure Register for HeroPath – Click Here Or contact me to pursue private mentoring.

The Third Voice – Swearing At Parents Okay?

By Jeffrey | Published October 9th, 2011

The Third Voice – Is Swearing At Parents Okay?

One reason there are so many therapists & so few Mentors

By Jeffrey | Published June 27th, 2011

The are cases where therapeutic treatment is invaluable. More often than not though, with teens in particular, they struggle with growing-up issues, not psychological ones.  We live in a culture that is obsessed with self… obsessed with happiness… obsessed with comparisons against some sense of ideal of how life is supposed to be and how [...]

The Lady Who Talked Too Much And Shut Me Up

By Jeffrey | Published May 29th, 2011

The Lady Who Talked Too Much & Shut Me Up I flew to Atlanta Friday to participate in a ritual coming-of-age ceremony of the 13 year old son of a client of mine. I wasn’t there to participate in his Bar Mitzvah service, rather to participate in a  very unique and creative ‘Council of Elders’ [...]

How MythoSelf Empowers Parents

By Jeffrey | Published May 12th, 2011

I have had an enormous response to the email I sent out earlier this week, announcing the Intentional Awareness Training, schedule for June 10-12th located in Novato, California. A number of you asked for more information, particularly about how this work applies to parenting. I think this timely story will bring it all home: A [...]

A Mother’s Day Tribute – What Is A Mom

By Jeffrey | Published May 11th, 2011

  Jeffrey Leiken, MA Evolution Mentoring International A Tribute To Moms  - Mother’s Day 2011 Today is Mother’s Day. I wanted to take a few minutes to write a tribute to Mother’s everywhere, but especially to my wife. I hope you enjoy this piece. Happy Mothers Day to all of you. In my business, mom’s [...]

Why Many American Youth Are NOT Celebrating bin Laden’s Death

By Jeffrey | Published May 4th, 2011

I hesitated on whether or not to write this post. Then something happened yesterday that inspired me to write this out – once again.I’ve gone on and on about this over the past 5 years to the point where I sense people either are tired of hearing it, don’t want to hear it or just [...]

Introducing Girls To The Wonderful World Without Disney

By Jeffrey | Published December 6th, 2010

Introducing Girls To The Wonderful World Without Disney Half of the clients in my Mentoring practice are teen girls and young adult women. They come from across North America and Europe. Inevitably no matter where they are from,  three topics always come up in our work together – Insecurity about their looks, the drama and [...]

Podcast: An Evening with Madeline Levine and Jeffrey Leiken

By Jeffrey | Published November 24th, 2010

Here is the link to a recent talk I participated in for parents in Marin county, sponsored by the Osher Marin JCC. There is some very compelling data and ideas offered here. The talk is 60 minutes, followed by Q&A. I hope you enjoy this. It was a really extraordinary evening, one I was honored [...]

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